Time to put things away for a while I think...

If you've been in my home, you know that there's various items in my home that remind me of my son. We have photos, hand and foot prints, butterflies, name written in sand, baby blanket from when my husband found out we were pregnant and bought it specifically bought it for baby Adrian. The past month, I can't handle much more... I am in so much pain. So much.

I would like to try again for another baby and pray it'd be a boy, but that will not happen as we're already a family of "five".

I've been so depressed about this, and I can't bare to look at the painful reminders anymore. I know a lot of people will be thinking that it's about time, but really, it's nothing about time. It is just I can't bare to see it anymore. If we didn't have our beautiful girls, I highly doubt I'd be able to remove myself from my bed. I can't bring myself to that point again. No amount of medication, or motivation will be able to help me if I get to that point again.

So, I love my baby boy with all my heart, but I think it is time to put the things away for a while. I will probably bring them back out when I can, but for now, I can't do it anymore.