Day 4

Treasured item.

My most treasured items are these pieces of clothing. He wore them and they have his blood on them. It's weird, maybe. But that's my proof he was here and those specs if blood are the only tangible piece of him I have as he was buried instead of cremation.

It is kind of hard to tell but you can see blood on the hat above the gown on the right side.


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Day 3

After loss self portrait is day 3

I can't tell you why I have a picture of myself with a band showing but I do know tht the short weeks after Adrian my body went through some major changes and had 2 surgeries shortly after having him. I likely was showing someone my band through webcam or something. But anyways this was very shortly after him, and I'm sure you can tell by my face.



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Day 2 before loss self portrait

I don't have too many photos before my loss because I didn't realize how valuable photos were then. But this is my last pregnancy picture with Adrian. I was so young and naive. Someone told me not to buy anything because I could still loose the baby a few weeks before this... I didn't think it was actually going to happen...



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Capturing grief - sunrise

This is new to me, but I'd like to participate with this challenge this year. Every day I will post, or try to post a new topic everyday that relates to grief that's been preselected. Today's is Sunrise.

Unfortunately I do not usually see the sunrise but I do love it. It's a simple thing that can be so beautiful in so many ways.

A week after Adrian died, I walked to the cemetery. It wasn't a quick walk either. I did it though despite just having a baby. I made it there to sit at the bench and watch the sunrise and all I could think about was how it was meant to be this way. That even though Adrian died, this was a new experience and something good would come from it even though I have no idea what that would be. I had to have hope that there was something... Watching the sunrise in the quiet peaceful cemetery was life changing and now I understand why people walk in it.

So while I do not see the sun just fill the sky often these days, the days I do I remember that day.



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