Thinking of you...

Today I received some special mail. A card. But, not just any card... A card for my family... for Adrian. I saw who it was from, and instantly knew what it was. I knew right then my day would get so much better. Today I needed this. Today my darling girls are testing me, and I'm not in any mood to do so.

Today marks the day I knew something was wrong. Today marks the day I was induced. Probably the worst day of my life, 5 years ago. All day I have been wanting to vomit, and it's only 10:00 am. So, that was showing me how my day was going.

Yesterday, I changed my profile photo on facebook, and a friend of mine posted "just wanted to let the world know I LOVE YOU!!! thanks for being an awesome friend hehe". And it made my day, well night... I feel blessed.

I'm so glad I have great friends, far and close. I know I have great support. It's a complete new feeling since when we had him, we hardly had support. We had kind emails, and flowers... but the pain still (and still does) stung... Friends dwindled, and we found new ways to cope. But now? Not so much. We have all kinds of great friends, and great support. I hardly knew what a great circle of people I've surrounded myself with until recent months. And, I'm glad.

So, thank you everyone for thinking of us.

Baby Madison

My girlfriend Misti just gave birth to her second daughter Madison today. I can't say how much relief was lifted off my chest when I heard she was okay. I can't say how much relief was lifted after I got off the phone with her this evening.

Misti's first daughter was born, and passed away after 16 days which also happened to be Christmas day. After I got off the phone with her, she told me that she now feels complete. She feels completely different now. She got her baby girl, and feels that her family is finally complete. Madison has filled that hole in Misti's heart.

When Misti explained that to me, I knew exactly that feeling. I want one more baby, I want my baby boy. Obviously, I know I can't have him, but I'd like to try again for a boy. But if we weren't gifted with another boy I say to myself I'd be happy with 3 girls, but I wonder if the hole that I feel would be lifted with a 3rd baby, or if that is only something a baby boy would fill.